The joys of living with your parents, at age 41

I love my parents dearly, no one compares to them I couldn't not ask for two better people to be my parents. They didn't have to let me live with them when I lost my job last year. They could have made me fend for myself, but they love me and they are really helping me to save money. So, when I feel like I have enough saved up I will move out...I can't wait!!

Somehow parents never stop seeing you as a child, they know you are an adult, most of the time they treat you like an adult, but sometimes...those parental sayings just sneak in. Last night I was playing around on the computer after we got done watching a movie, it was 11:00 pm, it's not a school night, I can sleep in tomorrow, etc. Mom says, you better go to bed, you're tired and need sleep. I said "I don't work tomorrow, I'm fine" She say's "Well, there's no point in sleeping all day" I couldn't resist, but to say 'I can if I want to', I think I went to far. Maybe I am still a child.

Some mornings, if I am running a little late Mom comes down and says "Do you know what time it is?" Well, the big is on the 9 and the little hand...never mind. Yeah, I know I'm running late, the teacher is so gonna keep me after school.

She'll say things about how tidy my room isn't, I'm busy I don't take the time to put things away like I should. I'm tired...deal with it. Yeah, Sounds alot like when you were a kid...huh?

Okay, but then there's a lot of good things. As I mentioned this is giving me a great chance to save money. When a lot of your check is not going towards rent or whatever it's not easy to sock it away. Especially now that the car is paid off.

Home cooked meals, need I say more?

She does understand that I'm busy and tired and don't have a lot of free time. Sometimes if they go out of town or something and I ask if she wants me to do something to help her out she almost always says no. She tells me just to worry about my stuff. She says "You need your down time"

I will be able to look back and realize what a gift I have to be about to spend time with my parents. Mom and I go shopping and to lunch sometimes. I go out to the garage and chat with Dad. It's kind of nice to have this time with them, because unfortunately they won't always be here. They are in great health now, but they will probably go before me.

So, while things are not always perfect. Mom gets on my nerves sometimes. I can get tired and cranky sometimes. All in all, they are my parents and I love them. I love them for what they have done for me and what they are doing for me. They are incredible people.

I'm baaaaaaack

I have been thinking about getting back to my blogging...really. It's only been since...uh, April that I last posted. Oops

I've just written a new entry that I'm about to post.  I'm sure everyone has forgotten I even have a blog.  My bad.  I've gotten several compliments on it in the past, and it is kind of fun to write.

I've also gotten a little 'inspired' by a couple things recently.  I've read a book by Jen Lancaster and her blog bascially lead to her book "Bitter is the New Black"  Which I think is hilarious.  In some ways I think she is like me, sarcastic as hell and funny.  

The other was the movie "Julia and Julie" it was kind of a fun movie, and she had a blog too.  That led to a book as well.

I swear I am not thinking I am going to become a published author...as if.  Hmmm, I'll be rich and famous, I'll be a household name I can finally have that house on the beach...I mean no, I am not even thinking about being published that's just silly (if anyone knows anyone in the publishing world though...hint, hint)

Anywho. I'm back for now, until I quit doing it again...I mean forever.  And I will post something I just wrote.  Love you all. 

Hmmm, not doing a very good job of keeping this current am I?

Well, things are going well, just very busy. Free time is not something I have a lot of....which is the reason this isn't being updated.

I have a new...old man in my life...I say old because we met as friends and it has developed into more and...he is wonderful. We have a couple obstacles, namely distance, he is in Idaho and I'm in Kansas! So far we are doing great though and it's been 3 months! We'll see what the future brings, but I feel very good about this guy. I feel that we could have a future together.

Hope everyone who might be reading this is doing well.

Okay, so where was I?

Yeah, I know...I'm wayyyyyyy behind on this. I've had a lot of changes in my life....mostly good. Right now my life is so busy I barely have time to think, nontheless update this. I will attempt to make the time someday in the near future.

For anyone who might accidently read this....thanks for not losing faith in me.

Love ya!

Gotta love it....

Okay, right now I am loving being single. Popularity is at an all time high and life is good. That's all I've got to say about that.

I'm a Purse Whore

I love purses! Love them. Small ones, fun ones, some with patterns, some with just one color, funky ones, some were on sale, some were on clearance. I'm always shopping for a new one, the more unique, funky, the better. I don't like to have the same purse everyone else else. I could care less about having a 'designer purse'.
My friends and I were talking about my obsession the other day and they were asking me how many I had...I wasn't sure. So, I hauled them all out today...it was quite the chore. The grand total is...32, I have 32 purses. That's quite a few, isn't it? In fairness, that also includes some of my totes, that I don't necessarily use as a purse.

So I took some pictures of my entire collection.

Now, for some details about some of my purse, because...they are like my children.

These are a couple purse one of my best friends gave me for my birthday, she knows me so well. The Pink flowered one I often use during the summer and I get a lot of compliments on it.

This are my little purses, I sometimes use the brown one in the middle, the denim one on the end...I think I had that in high school. The one with b...that stands for Belinda...I know you knew that, I never use. Probably not since I used it when I bought it.

The two purses on my left are more...more 'professional purses'. They look a little more classy. Particularly the dark brown one, I love that one...got it on clearance! The brown multi-color one I got on clearance, $6! The pink plaid one, I used for about a month, until I found one I liked better.

This is the purse I am currently using. I got it on sale. I had seen a purse at a purse store earlier in the day that I really liked, but it was $40. I just can't spend that much on a purse. I know you Coach girls out there are thinking I'm crazy, but...I'm a bargain shopper and I love my purses!

These are my bustier purses, I just love these. They are fun, and a great conversation piece.

These are some of my smaller 'going out' purses, they are small enough to carry just a few things. The pink one in the middle is a recent purchase, I got it at a purse party. I was a little afraid to go, but I walked away with just one decent priced purse. The pink one on the end I found at a Hallmark store, of all places. I thought it was so cute. It was $12, but when she rang it up....it was only $10. I love when that happens!

A couple 'cutsie' purses, the one on the left is covered with little shoes. The one on the right...purses, imagine that!

My backpack purses....don't ask me why I have 3...I guess I thought I needed them.

My two tiger purses, I love tigers. I have a huge collection of tigers, stuffed, photos, etc. These are my tiger purses. I may have more in storage.

This is my big, grandma size...'have you got the kitchen sink in there?' purse. It carries a lot. Too much, I can never find anything when I carry it...isn't it darling?

Here are all my 'totes'. The pink and black one on the right is from Mary Kay. A friend of mine sells it and she had these at a party. It is the perfect size for an overnight stay and so cute! As you can see there are also a couple of 'beach bags' I figured they counted.

These are my gym bags, nothing fancy. They were both free. The blue one I got from a job....a long time ago, won't say how long.

Last, but certainly not least....

This is a tote my Dad picked up for me when he went to Flight Safety school while working at Schwan's. My Mom has a couple as well. They are the dime a dozen type bags that you can buy and there are probably tons around in different colors with different school names, dance company's, etc. I think I have two of them. I think part of the reason I hang onto it is because it's from my Dad...silly, I know. It is a nice tote to carry stuff in...maybe I should use it once in awhile.

So there it is, my obsession, well...one of them anyway. Just wait until you see my makeup collection....

Prince Charming is Dead

When I was a little girl I dreamed I would grow up and be a princess...okay, so that wasn't so realistic, but when I was just a little older I thought I would meet the most wonderful man, get married, have kids, have a white picket fence and live happily ever after. Well, things are not looking good for most of that....
My parents have this fantastic marriage they talk about everything, they have so much love and respect for each other. I swear they are closer and love each other more every year. It's really wonderful...and disgusting. The thing is, growing up with parents like that is the best thing to have as a child. It's a nice healthy environment, but as a model for relationships...it sucks! You expect your relationships to be like that and to find someone that you can have a marriage like that with...yeah, right.
I thought I met my prince at 17, we got engaged...he was a punk...still not sure what happened with that one. To my friends that tried to warn me at the time, you were right, I'm admitting it now. Sorry I didn't listen!
I find it interesting how most of our lives we talk about, try to get, want, whatever, a man. It was like a goal to make your life complete. I realize now that it's okay that I don't have a man, I am still a good person, I am still a happy, balanced (well, mostly) well-rounded person who has lots of interests, friends and tries to get the most out of life and I don't necessarily need a man to do that.
Would I like one, of course, can I live without one...mostly, yes. I just never thought I would be single and childless at 40, my life did not end up where I thought it would, good, bad or indifferent, here I am.
I was a pretty ugly preteen, teenager, it wasn't until I got contacts when I was 17ish that I finally started getting guys attention. I think they couldn't see me past those coke bottle glasses! Then I dated pretty regularly for awhile. I never dated anyone from school though, I dated the guys from the Army base, older guys! My parents were fine with it and I just never had anyone from school ask me out.
In college I dated only sporadically. I got engaged again in my early 20's...yeah, another punk...boy, my judgment sucks!
Then mid-20's I dealt with my cancer situation and after that...I didn't date for a long time...a very long time...I'm not gonna say for how long, it's too embarrassing! There were a few guys I was interested in, but it never seemed to go anywhere. One in particular I remember I worked with and thought he was a cutie. We chatted here and there and he seemed like he might be interested in me, but I didn't know for sure. So finally one day I got the guts up and asked him to the movies, he said sure, but he had to help a 'friend' move. Could I call him later and he could let me know know? Sure, no problem. So I called him and he said it wasn't going to work out, but perhaps another time. Later my friend and I went to Sonic for a drink and I saw him there and went over to say 'Hi', he then introduced me to his fiancee, whom he was moving in with that weekend. Oh, so the 'friend' was you!!
It seems like over my lifetime there has been several incidents like this and I think...am I wearing a sign? Am I that naive or stupid? (it's a rhetorical question, please don't answer) My most recent boyfriend, last year broke up with me by not answering or returning my calls...that was his way of letting me know it was over. Hmmm, thanks for the clear cut message. I actually ended up chatting with him on Yahoo a few months ago and it was still all about him, it was amazing. He worked for the same company at the time and his explanation to why he broke it off the way he did was because he was frustrated with the job and everything. Oh, you were frustrated, well, that's okay then...I completely understand why you didn't call...you were frustrated. You just worry about yourself and don't worry about my feelings...asshole. Sorry, do I sound bitter?
Anyway...when my friend and I moved to Mexico a little over six years ago...well, let's just say Mexican men like blondes, well they like women in general, but seemed to like this particular blonde. I was pretty busy with the guys and I gotta say I loved it.
While living here in big ol' Marshall, MN I really haven't 'dated' that much...some here and there, but not much. In fact, recently I have had several first dates! Not a single second date...what's that about? One was because I wasn't interested, he had a unibrow and he whined! One was because he went back with an ex-girlfriend , we actually had a great first date and were going to see each other again. The last one basically stood me up for the seond date.
The thing is, I can seem to attract the guys with no problem....it's the staying power I have problem with...what does that say about me!?
I don't trust men so much, I'm getting better, but enough of them have lied to me over the years or 'done me wrong' that it's hard for me to take what they say at face value. I'm working on it and it's getting better in a lot of ways. I'm also learning...and I think a lot of this comes from my experiences and age, that it's okay to be single, it's okay to live on my own and yes, it's okay to stay home on a Friday night. I have plenty of friends and they seem to think an awful lot of me so I think that says a lot about who I am as person and I'm good with that. I also don't mind doing things by myself, naturally it's nice to have company, but my Mom always taught me that you have to be your own best friend first, and have to like being with yourself and you know what I do!
All this being said, I do...Mom, if you are reading this, please stop...things in here you probably don't want to know... I have a few....friends with benefits so to speak, Hey a girl has needs!! Mom! You didn't really expect me to stay a virgin forever did you? I didn't get married at 18 like you did...MOM!
So...anyway, I have a fairly active sex life, that I really, really enjoy so those needs are getting met quite nicely...Thank you!

What's the point to all this? Or the answer? I have no freakin' clue. I don't know if I will have a steady Eddie or Dave or Beau or whatever. I don't know if I will get married. I know I won't have my own children, but will I adopt or help raise someone else's children? I have no idea! The furture is uncertain, that's the thing about it...you can't predict it...No matter what that gypsy down the street says. As an optomistic friend of mine says...I could get hit by a truck tomorrow! You know what though, if I never do any of those things I will be okay, well unless I get hit by that truck...that would kind of suck.