I are college edjemicated

Why is it so hard to balance a checkbook? Do you have to be a special kind of stupid to do this? How can I balance an account at work that has thousands of dollars in it and can't manage my own checkbook that has...considerably less?

Why do they say I have so much more than I say I have? Okay, I'm an idiot, I forgot to add in my paycheck!! Okay, this still isn't adding up...what is going on here? Okay, subtract that..again, add that...still not, what in God'....oh wait, that check did come through, okay check that off. Okay, again...scratch that amount out...subtract....what is wrong with this calculator?? Maybe if I hit the keys harder it will work. Oh, wait..looks like when I balanced on the fly at the doctors office I subtracted wrong...okay, fix that...scratch that out...okay again...oh you dumb fuck, why the hell did you add that instead of subtract? Scratch that...subtract again, add that, subtract...pound on the keys...it's not working....start again!!! Okay, I think I've almost got it -50 and...oh shit, "Why am I still off $25??" Where is that $25??!! It has to be here...I've accounted for all the checks, I only have two outstanding checks and I've already subtracted the one $25 check....where the HELL IS THE OTHER $25!!!! Subtract again, add again, more chicken scratch, numbers all over the place, cross that one out, write another one. Nope that's not right, wait how can that number be there, that's still more...what the hell. Okay, I'm starting over minus 50, plus paycheck, minus 26.20, minus 25.00 Fuck it's still off...what the hell...oh, wait...I forgot to subtract the automatic transfer to savings...oh. Okay minus -25.00, -50.00, +paycheck -26.20....

YES!!! I BALANCE, I BALANCE, IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME...I BALANCE YES, YES, YES...

uh,hmmm...excuse me, I have to go take a shower. Have a good day. I balance, yes!!